The Beast That Ate Dennis

It’s something that makes me want to cover my eyes

Plug up my ears, suck my thumb as I cry

They say it’s unnatural and I wanna believe that it’s true

But if it got me first, I’d believe something new!

Well, it’s worse than Godzilla, doesn’t bark at the moon

And I wish you’d be careful it don’t get to you soon…..

(Refrain)

The Beast That Ate Dennis

It’s a horrible menace

I once loved this thing with eyes of deep blue

I loved it so long and I loved it so true

But love wasn’t enough, didn’t want my tender care

And soon came the day when it was no longer there

It was out stalking someone. Dennis was the cursed name

And after the feast, I gave up trying to tame……

(Refrain)

The Beast That Ate Dennis

It’s a horrible menace

The Beast That Ate Dennis

(Bridge)

Well, it walks on two legs when it’s not up to its tricks

Then it makes you scream with its bloody red lips- its bloody red lips!

Where is my garlic? Where is my cross?

Where is the sweet love I have now lost?

Well, it ripped out my heart ’cause it sure aint no lady

Stole all I believe in and now nothing can save me

(Refrain)

From The Beast That Ate Dennis

It’s a horrible menace

The Beast That Ate Dennis (repeats)

Notes: I wrote this song many years ago but never had a fully realized version of it until a few years ago. I thought the premise was too funny to abandon so I felt compelled to complete it. It’s about a girl I loved who loved another guy named Dennis, whom I never met. The act described in the song may or may not have ever taken place- only her hairdresser knows for sure. It’s a horrid, horrid song written by a horrible, horrible man. LOL. Here’s the video- if you haven’t done so yet, do yourself a favor and watch it: